"God, Why Was My Mommy So Mean To Me?"
As a wife and mother of 2 children, there truly is never a dull moment! I love my family with all my heart, but there have been times in my life where I truly didn’t think I could handle the pressure. Okay, well let me just be truthful for a moment. There have been times in my life that I didn’t handle the pressure…and I blew it!
One such time occurred with my sweet, little rambunctious daughter named Lily. Lily is an amazing little girl but she is definitely one who requires lots and lots of mommy time. Lily was having one of “those” days and kept whining about every little thing that happened. She also didn’t seem to listen to anything I needed her to do that day and after finally taking all I could handle, I just lost it. I raised my voice (several levels…aka…”yelled”) and then just started crying. Although I don’t remember exactly what I said, I can imagine it probably involved how much I do for her, her baby sister, and how I just need her to do what she is supposed to do in return.
As soon as my rant was over, her little eyes got so big and crocodile tears started pouring. My heart broke and in that moment I felt like the worst mother on the face of the planet. As she and I both sat there crying, all I could say to her was “I am so sorry.” I then told her that mommies don’t always do things the right way and I was so sorry for yelling at her.
She immediately responded with something that I was very excited to hear but didn’t expect. She sternly said, “I’m gonna go talk to God about this.” I of course encouraged her and then told her that God's voice is always kind and gentle, even when we do things we shouldn’t do. I told her that he would never yell at her like I had just done. I didn’t want her to think his voice was harsh and mean. As a counselor, I have seen many children and adults, afraid to hear from that inner “voice of truth” simply because they were directly or indirectly taught the opposite.
Lily stomped off to the closet and shut the door. As I sat outside, I couldn’t help but listen. I heard her crying as she said, “God, why was my mommy so mean to me!” (Forget feeling like the worst mom on the planet, I had just graduated to the worst mom in the universe!) As soon as she said those words, within only seconds, she stopped crying and said, “Oh! Okay… It’s just because she’s having a grumpy day.”
I didn’t really know what to do in that moment, other than to feel overwhelmingly grateful to the Creator of the Universe for taking care of my little girl when I had literally blown it. I slowly went outside the bedroom and sat down by the door, just trying to gather my thoughts. Not long after, Lily comes out with a smile on her face, and she gives me a hug. She then says, “Mommy, God said you were just having a grumpy day.” She then proceeded to tell me that he also told her that she wasn’t really listening either and that she needed to listen to her mommy. I absolutely didn’t expect that! My four-year-old had just voluntarily admitted to something she did wrong and this went against the norms for age appropriate behavior!
I witnessed that day, once again, that the God of the Universe lovingly and freely speaks "truth" to anyone, regardless of age, size, religion or no religion, and his voice brings "peace" in those moments when we need it most. I also was amazed that my four-year-old Lily had figured out something that has taken me my whole life to finally understand--that conversations with God do not have to just be "one way."
The events of that day are a great reflection of the "Seed Digging" process that the book teaches you and your family how to do all by yourselves. Every person on this earth innately wants to be loved, valued, feel safe and that they belong. Just like Lily, in a few moments, "truth" can come from within and change your entire perspective and bring peace that heals from the inside out.
I look forward to sharing many more personal stories and also stories of clients who discovered amazing "truths" that literally transformed their lives, marriages, and relationships. Please come back and visit again soon!