Humans will become codependent with anything or anyone that helps bring relief to those starving, innate, emotional needs that exist within every person.
Those innate needs can only be completely satisfied through that consistent and loving energy source that has always been there and will always be.
Just as a flower or a tree will grow around a shadow to find the sun (its innate energy source) so will every human being. A human constantly looks for that unchanging, energy source that brings peace and sustains life.
Some call that force "God." Some call him "friend." Some call him "Love."
Our parents are given the first opportunity to reflect that unconditional love and support of God. When we are born, we become codependent with our parents or bond with that "bigger, stronger, wiser" person who meets those innate emotional needs.
As we grow, we are constantly looking for others to be that "bigger, stronger, wiser" person as our hearts are always subconsciously looking for Him.
Just like the flower innately looks for the sun, we are always innately looking for our energy source because it sustains life and is the only One who can innately meet every need. He is a constant.
Unfortunately, the eyes and mind aren't always trained to look for Him in the right places.
Children see their parents or caregivers as that "God" figure, and when they fail or cause pain, the child will keep looking until those needs get met.
If those needs consistently go unmet, the child will eventually develop a temporary and false co-dependency to people or things: friends, drugs, alcohol, spouse, significant other, sex, cutting, or anything that meets those innate needs and provides some relief.
Those "coping or survival skills" will only take the pain away temporarily and eventually the person is left in a worse condition: desperate, alone, and craving more of that false sense of hope that was never meant to bring permanent relief.
The perfect picture would be for that parent, caregiver, teacher or "bigger, wiser, stronger" person to teach the child that parents and people are human and they WILL fail. In those moments, that innate source of life and strength (God) will always be there when they get hurt or feel all alone.
Because people are subconsciously trained to look for that energy source (God) everywhere they go, they tend to blame "God" when someone or something fails them.
In numerous counseling sessions, I continuously witness this.
When people face those "seeds" that "no one, not even God was there," in the most desperate moments of childhood, they encounter the most beautiful truths that heal their hearts and bring peace.
My heart starts pounding with excited anticipation as I wait for that "Loving Force" to speak to them and show them where He was.
I recently encountered a session with a precious lady who had a very rough childhood. She was abused, neglected, bullied and teased as a child.
At a young age she began urinating in jars in her room to keep from having to go downstairs to use the bathroom, in fear of facing her father.
She had felt all alone, rejected, and abandoned on multiple occasions and would find herself staying in her room for long hours at a time.
When we asked "Love" to show her where he was in those moments of extreme loneliness and fear, she was too afraid to hear.
When she finally realized that "Love" was the perfect parent who only speaks with love and never brings shame nor guilt, she discovered a deep truth that will forever change her life.
Love told her, "I was in the walls" and "was always there with you."
Her bedroom was the only place she had ever felt safe and after hearing "Love" say that, her little heart began to realize that he had always been there and would always be there for the rest of her life. Her eyes had just never been trained to "see" until that moment.
I have also seen "Love" show up in the form of a dog when a child was in extreme pain and felt abandoned. The dog brought immediate comfort and the child saw that "God was there that day" when he felt all alone. God knows our deepest needs and will meet them in any way that He can in order to help us when we need him most.
You see, our eye just aren't quite trained yet to grasp that He is always present, never leaves, and never fails.
I have seen adults and children find emotional healing when God showed them that he was a teacher, a blanket, a friend, a chicken, a sister and a brother. God's love never fails and can go beyond our wildest imaginations.
He will reach beyond space and time to bring healing to his Little Ones, whether young or old, and will stop at nothing to show His love.
Just like the flower needs the sun, codependency with "Love" will bring true fulfillment, peace, and heal every emotional need.
"Love is Patient, Love is Kind..."