Have you ever been "conflicted" from within?
Do you find yourself doing things that you know you shouldn't be doing, yet cannot seem to stop?...
Do you beat yourself up each time you do it, yet a small part of you truly enjoys it and doesn't want to stop?
Do you ever feel extremely strong and confident in certain areas of your life, yet another part of you feels extremely inadequate and secretly fears that someone will "discover" your flaws and weaknesses?
Do you ever feel that there are 2 parts of you?...Perhaps a rational One?... and One that does things that make no sense at all?
Have you ever found yourself having a great time with your spouse and then the next minute find yourselves blaming and saying mean things to each other, just like children?
After a bad day at work, have you ever found yourself taking your frustrations out on your kids by yelling at every little thing they say or do...
and then cry yourself to sleep because of the guilt and shame you feel for being so hard on them?
First of all, let me reassure you. You ARE NOT CRAZY. You are NOT BAD.
You are HUMAN and there is a simple explanation for this.
I see it all the time with the adults and children I work with. I see it with extremely educated and uneducated people. I see it with extremely religious and nonreligious people. I see it with highly successful people and those who cannot hold down a job.
It definitely is a different way of thinking but I would like to invite you to take on a "new perspective."
This new way of thinking can help you see the "heart" of others...it will teach you how to forgive and love yourself as well.
It also can help change the world, through love and patience.
It's pretty simple....
There is a "child" inside of you.
That little child wants to feel loved, valued, needed, accepted, safe, and that he/she belongs.
When that little person does not get those needs met, he/she will grapple, fight, yell, shut down, hurt others, hurt himself/herself, cheat on a spouse, betray a friend, drink excessively, do drugs, ignore their children, leave their children, disassociate, withdraw, or do whatever it takes to meet those innate needs.
And many times, the inner child's silent cry begins to shout out so loudly in his actions, that the family or marriage is destroyed.
I have truly found that within the counseling process, if I can help that hurting "child within" find value, love, acceptance, safety, sense of belonging, and that they are needed, that precious "inner child" will begin to grow up and heal.
The person begins to love himself and meet those innate emotional needs through a "Constant Force of Love" that will never go away.
In doing this, he begins to see all the ways he is trying to meet those innate emotional needs through unhealthy or destructive coping skills.
His eyes change. His perspective changes. This person can begin to heal.
This "wounded child within" each of us is not "bad." This little person just wants to be loved. Needed. Listened to...heard...valued...accepted...feel safe and secure...and to just belong.
Just as all humans need their physical needs met with food/water, clothing, shelter, and safety, there is a "little child within" all of us who simply wants his emotional needs met as well. When that child begins to starve emotionally, he will resort to "survival mode" and will do what it takes to get his needs met.
Some of us have a "wounded child" from within that is hurting more deeply than others. It's easy to spot this...just look at the actions.
Be careful though...
Don't "judge" the actions...just take a moment to consider them.
After all, each of us have our "own little child" inside who simply wants to be loved, valued, needed, accepted, feel safe, and to simply belong.
What is your "little child" trying to say?